Some people let their fear destroy their dreams.  Others learn how to use it as the very tool needed to craft the life of their dreams.

Fear.

It's amazing.  If you can rise above it and look at it objectively, you can see that beneath the instinct to "run and hide," there lies an arrow pointing directly in the direction that you need to go.

We cannot draw out with absolute precision the map between where we are and where we need to be in order to arrive at this goal or that.  But we can consult our compass - our fear.  Because the very step that you're afraid to take is precisely the step that you must take next.

Start changing your relationship with fear.  Improve it.  Mature it.  Grow up.  Because as long as you're committed to learning and growing, you'll always have fear.  So you might as well stop running from it and learn to run with it, through it, and past it.  Have fun with it and eventually it won't feel like fear anymore.

This is something I've learned from Darren Hardy and Jeff Olson.   Be glad for the struggle.  Darren Hardy points out in his book The Compound Effect that the fact that achieving success is not easy is a fact that he gets excited about.  Why?  Because the fact that it's not easy means that it is that much easier for YOU.

Think about it.  If everyone was incredibly driven, never giving up, never slowing down, then it would be much, much harder for you to make a significant difference, to stand out, to rise above.  It is to your advantage that most people are not driven because while they're sitting on their couches, there is more opportunity out there for the significant few willing to keep on keeping on.  The competition on the extra mile is almost non-existent.

Jeff Olson tells the story of his daughter Amber who was nervous going into an academically challenging school.  He told her that if she just continued to show up consistently to class, she would already be ahead of the large majority of her fellow students.  It was true.  She combined showing up with studying every day a little bit consistently and she came out even more ahead.  She came out on top.

Think about it: most people don't even have the drive to show up!

Be glad success isn't easy, because if it were then it would be so achievable that it wouldn't be remarkable...it would be average.  And then it would only be that much harder to stand out and be significant.

So never underestimate the little bit that you do every day to move forward because chances are that that little bit puts you way, way ahead.

Photo Credit to: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kovazg/3726775982/

• Quit waiting for someone else to give you a map.  Draw your own.
• "The most common way that people give up their power is by thinking that they don't have any." - Alice Walker
• Everyone is sitting around waiting for someone to pick them.  Stop waiting.  Pick yourself!
• Poking the box means jumping in and taking action again and again and again.  It means throwing your fears and excuses out the window and just start, GO, and keep going.
• Soon is not as good as NOW.
• Does your goal, project, or idea scare you?  Good.  It's worth doing then.
• "Imagine that the world had no middlemen, no publishers, no bosses, no HR folks, no one telling you what you couldn't do.
  If you lived in that world, what would you do?
  Go. Do that." 
• If you're not failing, then you're not doing, starting, going.  Avoiding failure is counterproductive.
• Make a habit out of starting.
• Get off your butt and try something.  Take ACTION.  Go.  Change the world.  ;)

To read Robert's excellent article on this subject, click here.

So neat that Robert Pagliarini sent out this video today.  My friend and fellow OWL member, Sirena, and I were talking about this same topic recently.  How it's such a normal thing to put so much weight on other people's opinions - especially negative opinions - when in fact people don't really care.  It sounds harsh, but it's true and the truth will set you free.

Okay, okay - here's an example:

You've tentatively decided on a certain path that you want to explore in your life.  It's a bit different from the normal way of "doing life" - hmmm, an example may be that instead of going to school and living in a dorm, you want to do an internship program in Ireland and work toward your degree thru an online college.  Woohoo!  You're taking the road less traveled and all that jazz.  And then someone tells you you're making a bad decision and your enthusiasm goes south.  The self-doubt creeps in along with the life-debilitating thoughts such as, "Oh well, I guess dreams just don't come true."  And so we talk ourselves into changing the whole trajectory of our lives.  Meanwhile, where is this person who you have allowed to have so much power and authority in the decisions that shape your life?  As soon as they've given you their input - guess what?! - they've already forgotten about you.  They've moved on with their own lives and their own problems.

This is where "the truth will set you free" comes in.  Imagine - the next time you've decided on something that you believe is going to be a positive benefit in your life and somebody offers their not-too-encouraging opinion...imagine thinking that instead of allowing this person's words to take root in your mind and infect you with so much anxiety and doubt, you choose thoughts like this: "Hmm, I know this person says they care about me and to a certain extent that is true.  But this person has their own problems and their own cares and they care, but they don't REALLY care because it's not their responsibility to care about me.  It's mine.  So I'm going to do what I have to do."

Now, this does not mean to go thru life like you don't need help or advice from anybody.  If I believed that then I wouldn't be such a believer in personal development.  In personal development, we're basically seeking out and learning from other people's advice on how to live abundant lives - mentally, financially, emotionally, etc.  But the key in personal development is that we are always (hopefully) hearing advice from people who are QUALIFIED to give it.

For instance, if I want advice about how to create financial freedom in my life, I'm going to seek out the advice of David Bach (the author of Smart Women Finish Rich).  I'm not going to take financial advice from my broke co-worker, neighbor, friend, whoever.


Sometimes knowing when to accept or not to accept someone's advice is really difficult - especially when they really are smart, experienced people who we look up to.  When this is the case, take the time to get more information, write down your thoughts, pros and cons, etc so that when you make your decision, you know you're coming from a place of self-awareness instead of self-doubt.


To read Robert Pagliarini's article that goes with his vid, click here.

What do you do when you just don't feel like doing what you're supposed to do?  Let's face it - you're going to have those days no matter how clear you get on your goals and what you want out of life.  It's so easy to slack off and lose momentum.

Not every day is going to be perfect and I hope you're not shooting for perfection anyway.  You're never going to get perfect, you can only and always get better.  You have to think progress not perfection!

So with that in mind, how can we make progress every single day?  Here's a tip that I got from an article by Robert Pagliarini that I've tried on a couple of areas in my life and it works.  Think "I can at least...".  This practice will save you on those days when you're feeling too tired, or stressed, or "blah" to do as much as you planned.

Here's an example:
Let's say you have a goal to save $5 every day because ultimately you want to have money specifically saved to invest in a mutual fund by the end of the year.  As easy as this sounds, you'll probably have days where that $5 disappeared on gas or emergency groceries or maybe you just blew it on candy.  Instead of feeling that you messed up for that day, do the next best thing instead.  In this case, you say, "Well, I can at least save $1 today."  And do that. 

This is about more than the "something is better than nothing" principle.  When you can't accept anything less than $5 a day and you miss it, you've not only sacrificed a day, you've sacrificed a precious bit of your momentum and you've made it that much easier to miss it again and again.  Before you know it, the year is gone and you've gotten nowhere because you've sabotaged your success with your need for perfection.  It's funny how obsessing over perfection so often leads to its exact opposite.  That $1 saves you.  It preserves your self-respect.  It's a symbol of your commitment to progress no matter what.

Now, before you say, "What's the big deal?  I can make up for missing a day by saving $10 tomorrow.  So it's ok if I don't do anything today."  The money in itself is not the point.  Your mindset is the point.  Really successful people know that their success is the result of the little things that they do every day.  They understand that this is how the magic of the compound effect works in their lives.  Success is not a result of what you do to make up for what you didn't do.

So, what's your back up plan?

Here's some ideas:
Goal: I exercise for 45 minutes a day
Back-up: I can at least exercise for 10 minutes today

Goal: Study Spanish for 1 hour every day
Back-up: I can at least study 10 words today

There is another awesome benefit about this principle.  When you think, "I can at least ..." and you do it, you'll find it easier to keep going and you'll find yourself on top of your game anyway.  For instance, if the thought of exercising for 45 minutes feels too daunting for you one day, but you get up to at least do 10 minutes, you're going to find after 10 minutes that you feel good enough to do the next 35!

Remember: Think progress not perfection.