Some people let their fear destroy their dreams.  Others learn how to use it as the very tool needed to craft the life of their dreams.

Fear.

It's amazing.  If you can rise above it and look at it objectively, you can see that beneath the instinct to "run and hide," there lies an arrow pointing directly in the direction that you need to go.

We cannot draw out with absolute precision the map between where we are and where we need to be in order to arrive at this goal or that.  But we can consult our compass - our fear.  Because the very step that you're afraid to take is precisely the step that you must take next.

Start changing your relationship with fear.  Improve it.  Mature it.  Grow up.  Because as long as you're committed to learning and growing, you'll always have fear.  So you might as well stop running from it and learn to run with it, through it, and past it.  Have fun with it and eventually it won't feel like fear anymore.

To read Robert's excellent article on this subject, click here.

So neat that Robert Pagliarini sent out this video today.  My friend and fellow OWL member, Sirena, and I were talking about this same topic recently.  How it's such a normal thing to put so much weight on other people's opinions - especially negative opinions - when in fact people don't really care.  It sounds harsh, but it's true and the truth will set you free.

Okay, okay - here's an example:

You've tentatively decided on a certain path that you want to explore in your life.  It's a bit different from the normal way of "doing life" - hmmm, an example may be that instead of going to school and living in a dorm, you want to do an internship program in Ireland and work toward your degree thru an online college.  Woohoo!  You're taking the road less traveled and all that jazz.  And then someone tells you you're making a bad decision and your enthusiasm goes south.  The self-doubt creeps in along with the life-debilitating thoughts such as, "Oh well, I guess dreams just don't come true."  And so we talk ourselves into changing the whole trajectory of our lives.  Meanwhile, where is this person who you have allowed to have so much power and authority in the decisions that shape your life?  As soon as they've given you their input - guess what?! - they've already forgotten about you.  They've moved on with their own lives and their own problems.

This is where "the truth will set you free" comes in.  Imagine - the next time you've decided on something that you believe is going to be a positive benefit in your life and somebody offers their not-too-encouraging opinion...imagine thinking that instead of allowing this person's words to take root in your mind and infect you with so much anxiety and doubt, you choose thoughts like this: "Hmm, I know this person says they care about me and to a certain extent that is true.  But this person has their own problems and their own cares and they care, but they don't REALLY care because it's not their responsibility to care about me.  It's mine.  So I'm going to do what I have to do."

Now, this does not mean to go thru life like you don't need help or advice from anybody.  If I believed that then I wouldn't be such a believer in personal development.  In personal development, we're basically seeking out and learning from other people's advice on how to live abundant lives - mentally, financially, emotionally, etc.  But the key in personal development is that we are always (hopefully) hearing advice from people who are QUALIFIED to give it.

For instance, if I want advice about how to create financial freedom in my life, I'm going to seek out the advice of David Bach (the author of Smart Women Finish Rich).  I'm not going to take financial advice from my broke co-worker, neighbor, friend, whoever.


Sometimes knowing when to accept or not to accept someone's advice is really difficult - especially when they really are smart, experienced people who we look up to.  When this is the case, take the time to get more information, write down your thoughts, pros and cons, etc so that when you make your decision, you know you're coming from a place of self-awareness instead of self-doubt.


To read Robert Pagliarini's article that goes with his vid, click here.

"Be open to discoveries. Don't have too fixed a notion of the path, but rather have some idea of the kind of things that most appeal to you."
---Unknown

So here's the final part of Your Life, Your Map.  So far, this is what we've covered:

1. set a goal/point B
2. write it down
3. accept that you must reprogram the way you think
4. recognize the power of taking baby steps
5. work on yourself and your reality will rise to the level of the new you


This is the part where I know you might be waiting for me to explain exactly how to identify the specific steps you need to take in order to reach your goal.  After all, this post is about mapping out your life, right?  And aren't maps supposed to make the course from point A to point B perfectly clear?

"Change before you have to." - Jack Welch

Recently, I asked a fellow personal development enthusiast to tell me what is the best book that he's ever read in the personal development field.  He told me Follow Your Heart by Andrew Matthews.  As corny as the cover and title of this book may seem, it's really good and it has taught me something that is probably one of the best things I've ever learned.     
Are you ready to hear it?!  Here it is:

LIFE IS ALWAYS TEACHING YOU A LESSON.

I know, I know.  You know this already so where's the epiphany?  Well, there's another part to this principle that doesn't get as much attention.  And it is:

...THE LONGER YOU TAKE TO LEARN THE LESSON, THE HARDER YOUR LIFE WILL GET.

Here's an excerpt from the book to illustrate this fact:

We are continually being presented with lessons.  Unless we learn the lessons, we get to take them again...and again...and again. 

If we are miserable, it's likely we've missed a lesson.

We are not here to be punished.  We are here to be educated.  Every event has the potential to transform us, and disasters have the greatest potential to change our thinking.  ACT AS IF EVERY EVENT HAS A PURPOSE, AND YOUR LIFE WILL HAVE PURPOSE.  Figure out why you needed an experience, conquer it, and you won't need it again. 

Once we have learned the lesson, we move onto the next one.


What are some examples of this?  Well, you know your friend who always has the same relationship issues no matter how many times she finds someone new?  And the co-worker who keeps getting into debt?  And the relative who loses weight, gains it back, loses weight, then gains it back?  These are examples of people who are not recognizing the lesson that life is teaching them.  So every year they must repeat the same lesson again and again.

The thing is, at first when our lessons come to us, life is subtle about it - sending us little messages and nudges.  If we are living in consciousness and awareness, then we can pick up the lesson quickly, conquer it and thereby uplift our mindset and experience of life to a higher level as we move onto the next lesson.  But most of the time, we're not living in awareness.  We're too busy trying to make it through the day, trying to survive and keep our heads above water.  I think that moving into a place of awareness is like thinking "Hey, I've been treading water for a long time and my legs hurt.  I'm expending all this effort and I'm getting nowhere.  In fact, pretty soon I'm going to drown if I keep doing this.  Hmm, I should try something different.  I should swim!  Wow, now I feel like I'm making progress."
In other words, it's worth it to stop and think, "What is life trying to teach me right now in my life, in this moment?"  Life is always sending you a lesson.  Ever feel like the current year isn't too different from the year before?  That's a surefire clue that you haven't learned your lesson.

At first, the lesson, as I said, is subtle.  But if we're not awake to it, not only do we have to repeat that lesson over and over, but as time passes life stops tapping on our shoulder and starts whamming us over the head because our lack of receptivity is telling life that we need a huge, disastrous wake-up call in order to pay attention.  Think about it.  All of the big, messy parts in your life didn't just attack you out of the blue.  I'm sure if you look back, you could probably identify hundreds of little hints and clues signaling you that there was something you needed to learn...but didn't.

So carve out time - a minute, a day, a whole weekend even - and face your lesson.  How do we do this?  A good start is to ask yourself, what are you resisting in your life right now.  What are your fears?  Make this a regular self-examination practice and you'll be sailing thru the lessons that life gives you.  This is such an amazing thing to achieve when there are so many people out there who are still struggling with lessons that they simply refuse to learn.  You know these people.  They're the ones who never move on, who are always complaining about the same problems year after year, who are behaving like victims in their own lives.

Do you want next year to be better than this year?  Are you tired of dealing with the same issues, the same fears?  Decide to quit treading water in the same stupid spot and start swimming toward a better life.  Learn your lessons!

So, we've accomplished four thing in this process so far.  We've...
1. set a goal/point B
2. wrote it down
3. accepted that we must reprogram the way we think
4. accepted the power of taking baby steps

Now, there's another ingredient you need to achieve your goals.  It's called THE MAGIC FACTOR.  I learned about the "magic factor" in a goal designing program by Darren Hardy, the publisher of SUCCESS magazine. It is hands-down the best thing I have ever learned in 23 years of being exposed to personal development material.

Out of everything and anything that I can write about goals, this is the most important.  If this is the only piece of information that you remember from this blog or any source of personal development information, you'll be more than good to go.

Are you ready for it?  Here it is...

Let's talk about MAPS! 

Do you have a map for your life?  And do you check it regularly?

It goes without saying - when you go traveling into unfamiliar territory and need to get from point A to point B, you must consult a map.  Without a map, you're lost, drifting, and missing out on all the stuff you want to see and do and experience!

The same thing applies to the journey that is your life!
Point A is where you are now.  Point B is your goal, where you want to get to.  The map of your life is the course you chart to take you from point A to point B.  However, before you can chart that course, you have to clearly define point B as much as you can at this present moment.  Most of us do have an idea of where we want to be in our lives, but sadly, it's usually a very vague idea.  Vague ideas don't make very good point B's.  Not at all.  They're like moving clouds - intangible and utterly impossible to pin down.  This is why so many people feel like they are not getting what they want out of their lives - because they never take the time to figure out exactly what it is they want in the first place!